Cutting the cord

This one comes from a reader who asked:

“I fell in love with a man who was so right for me. We became pregnant but lost the child. Soon after our relationship ended and he is now with someone else. I know I need to let go, but I can’t. HELP!”

Ouch. I feel for you. That was a very intense connection.

It has been said, and I believe, that each time you have such a strong connection with someone, they are either your mate or your teacher. Perhaps this experience was given to you to teach you something you would need for in the future.

It’s not always so easy to let go though. I remember after loosing a deep, soul connected love thinking I was done. No one else would ever make me feel that way. Which is true — no one else can ever make you feel exactly the same way.

Your next love will be different because you will be different. You will be stronger and more aware of what you need and desire in a relationship. More aware of the kind of partnership that works for you and what doesn’t work for you. All of this is good.

But first you must clear space in your heart to welcome your new love in.

I find the cutting the cord ritual is a powerful way to cut the emotional ties that keep you focused on a past love. It may seem hokey but taking action to perform this ritual provides the closure many people need.

There are several ways to cut the cord. The one I like best is below, but you can adapt it to your own style.

  1. Draw a warm bath and add 1/4 cup of salt to the water.
  2. Immerse yourself in the water and recall the good things about your relationship. Thank the person for what you learned from them. Then say, “I am ready to let you go now.”
  3. Visualize a cord between you and this person. Imagine holding a machete or huge scissors. Visualize cutting the cord, repeating “I release you, I release you, I release you.”
  4. From then on you will feel less tied to this person. You will think about them less and when you do think about them you will be able to move on quickly by repeating “I release you.” Keep repeating that phrase until they fade into the background.

With this new space in your heart, focus on the love you want to experience. What does it feel like to be with this person? To put it out there, share this with us below!