Love is beautiful… BUT sometimes getting there is tricky. Believe me, I know. With such deep emotion, it can be easy to get thrown off.
Bringing your relationship closer together is all about nurturing an honest connection. This is especially important for sensitive people, who experience stronger feelings than most (like me).
This Valentine’s Day instead of a Teddy Gram, give the gift of closeness. Here are some ideas that really work:
#1 Be honest with yourself: embrace your feelings
We want to feel good all the time, so the natural inclination is to push away intense feelings. Unfortunately, pushing them away only makes them stronger. To make matters worse, hiding out distances you and often causes a blow up later. It never works.
Embracing your feelings, especially when you are hurt, is key.
Next time, try breathing deeply into your hurt feeling, whether it is fear or anger or longing. It will soften much more quickly. Once you return to a calm perspective, you can approach the situation with new eyes.
Next, determine what triggered your reaction.
#2 Be honest with your partner
If it was the current situation, say someone was late to a movie, ask yourself what you desire in the long term. Is it to appreciate each other and treat each other with respect? Approaching the situation from that perspective will set a connected tone. Be honest but simple with your partner. Use I statements to show how you feel. For example, “I love being with you, but when you are late, I don’t feel cherished. It is hard for me to count on you for big things if I can’t count on you for small things.” It may feel tough to say this but harboring resentment is worse. A who partner cherishes you appreciates your honesty. That is the kind of partner you want.
On the flip side, when your partner has a concern, listen, appreciate where they are coming from and make it right. Then let it go and have fun together.
#3 Do the work
Other times, your reaction is a familiar feeling you have had for years, such as feeling abandoned. Your partner may have triggered it, but he or she did not create it. If it is coming up frequently, it is probably holding you back. Doing the work to release this feeling, likely from childhood, will be highly effective.
As always, if you like this post, please leave a comment below!