This Sunday, I will be running the NYC Marathon, my first in my home city.

I am by no means a competitive runner which is why people often shake their heads when I mention a 22-mile run in pouring rain and ask why?

It’s a tough question. Running is a funny thing for me. I have done it, albeit slowly, for 23 years and yet I am never sure why I do it besides that I have to get home somehow. In reflecting on the question, I’ve come to realize that this answer is indeed true, but for a deeper reason.

17 years ago I chose me over hiding and stopped drinking. I was 20.

Young, I know. My first drink was at age four, a sip of scotch at a cocktail party. I can still taste it. The second the warm burn hit my lips, power surged through my veins. It was like a switch was flipped, everything that was wrong with me was all of a sudden right. It was on fire. Amazing that at age 4 I already thought something was wrong with me. As a highly sensitive kid, with deep emotions and empathy, I didn’t know how to manage my emotions or create boundaries from what people wanted. So I was unfailingly nice, smart, the good girl. And I was angry, unappreciated and misunderstood inside. So I drank to fix it, to fix myself.

Fast-forward 16 years, past bravado and bad choices. I lost my grandmother and started looking for a better way.

I ran myself sober, choosing the NYC pavement over scotch to figure out how to value myself instead of search for value outside of me. Running was an act of faith that there was a better way. It was choosing me. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew I had to keep going. I prayed a simple thank you for 90% of each runs because I didn’t have anything else constructive to think. My ego would get me all tripped up. Of course the endorphins helped and it worked. But I was forcing it. The best thing about it was how good it felt after I was done.

Fast forward another sober 14 years and my kidney failed, paradoxically during my “live life” tour to celebrate the life of my step-father after his passing. Brokenhearted, I surrendered. Not at first of course. Actually I fought it kicking and screaming for months in a black hole of tears. But I finally surrendered to being vulnerable, to life turning out not at all like I had hoped on many dimensions as a single corporate slog of 34. Barely able to walk, I dreamt of running free.

When I started running again, looping the reservoir that first time back after surgery, I realized running free meant not forcing it. For some reason, I was able to see that I had to stop forcing it in running before I saw the parallels in my career and my personal life. I no longer needed to run to overcome something. What my body wanted was to run in joy.

So I ran into the silence of the woods or the sirens on my block, feeling the slightly off rhythm of my footfalls, gratitude for the strength in my body to carry me forward, and quite often a state of joy. Listening, I followed my gut to a new career, an amazing man and a deeper peace than I have known.

This marathon, my 3rd, is for joy.

Thank you legs. Thank you dirt and pavement. Thank you NYC. Thank you me.

Love vs Fear When it comes down to it, we can only be in one of two emotions at any given time: love or fear. Love creates trust, connection, peace, gratitude and faith. This leads to connection collaboration, play and healing. You are your best self.
  Fear creates distrust, sadness, anger. This leads to protection and retaliation, smallness.

It is impossible to be in love and fear at the same time. Try it for yourself.
 
To reconnect with love, try this simple exercise: list 5 things you are grateful for.
 
You might say that things suck today, I don’t want to feel grateful. If you are sad or angry, let yourself feel it for a bit. Stuffing it doesn’t help. 

But dwelling doesn’t help either. Feeling love within in you will make YOU feel better. Do it just for you. xo Adelma

If you have ever tried to lose weight, you probably know the relationship between calories and weight is not completely linear.
 
Sometimes you eat better and exercise more. But the number stays the same. 
 
Or you loose 20 pounds, NICE, but then you hit a plateau. Arrruggggh!!!
 
What gives?
 
At a pure calorie level, the relationship between calories and weight loss ranges between 600 and 3,500 calories per pound. But there are so many other factors – changes in metabolism, stress, cravings for love and support, the efficiency of your body in digestion and fat storage just to name a few.
 
Lasting health and weight loss is about nourishing yourself on all levels so food is only one of many things that feed you. 

Dr. Dean Ornish, author of Eat More, Weigh Less promotes a balanced, holistic approach to health that has been successful with up to 80% of his heart disease patients. For more info and a brilliant talk by Dr. Ornish, click here.
 
I call it Loving Wellness.
 
Instead of telling you about it, I wanted you to hear from one of amazing clients, Dean, on his journey:
 
“I signed up with J&B to lose weight.  However, it turned out to be a whole lot more.  Adelma uses a holistic approach to wellness. My job in finance can be stressful and very hectic.  Adelma advocates a healthier work/life balance and encourages me to have a more active social life.  After 3 sessions I have lost 24 lbs and have kept it off. Moreover, I am leaner and more muscular than the last time I was at this weight. 
 
I had to change my whole wardrobe and can proudly wear slim fit and polo shirts for the first time in a while. I had my annual physical and all of my numbers were perfect. My doctor was very pleased. I am a lot more confident, happier and feel terrific. 
 
Through Adelma, I changed my life style rather than adopt a fad diet.  She tailored a program that fit my Caribbean cultural and culinary background and history.  Thus I was able to eat food that I enjoy eating and not just twigs and leaves.  Adelma was very supportive during the times that my weight loss plateaued and helped me to get back on track.  I am so pleased I just signed up for another 3 month session!”


 
Want to work with me? I have 5 Breakthrough Sessions open. It’s one hour to go over your goal, what’s getting in the way right now and how I can help you reach it. 

The first five people to reply are in! I look forward to working with you!
 
Xo
Adelma

How do you banish temptation?

Maybe you have a plan. You know what you want to do. But then temptation strikes.

For example, you’re out with friends and everyone wants to try a new pizza place – but you just found out you have a dairy allergy. Saturday night went like that for me.

How do you handle this?

When temptation strikes, ask yourself: what have you successfully quit or changed? Perhaps it was quitting smoking or a relationship that didn’t work for you. Apply what worked there, here.

Usually what makes you successful is having a clear motivation, like knowing you want something better and keeping this vision in your mind.

Avoiding something really bad works too.

Then make sure you never feel deprived. Create your best option. For example, an arugula, pear and cranberry salad with a side of sauteed calamari or prosciutto is arguably equally amazing.

Much better. (Hint, this goes for any life changes you want to make.)

Want one on one support? Hit me up for a Complementary Personal Strategy Session.

Share Your Story Below – What changes have you made? How did you do it?

What was your first association with sweets?

Mine was crawling into my grandmother’s lap as she baked us chocolate chip cookies with her secret ingredient – orange juice. I remember it was always warm and soft there. No matter what the day had been like, I was happy and buzzing with energy. I felt special, deeply loved and cared for.

Fast forward nearly 30 years and dessert was still love to me. I would crave it when I wanted to cheer up after a tough day, or to make a special night more special.

But what I really wanted wasn’t sugar. It was warmth, connection and high energy. Cravings are strong cues to focus on what needs to be nourished.

Skipping the cookie and calling a friend or going for a run made me feel 10x better. These days, I have 2 desserts a week instead of 2 a day.

If you crave sugar or food that doesn’t work for your body, ask yourself what feeling are you seeking. Is it energy? Is it is an emotional lift?

Then consider what else gives you that feeling in a more lasting way. Do that instead.

Every food plays a role in our lives. Nourishing those cravings makes cutting sugar and foods that aren’t serving us much easier.

As always, if you’re looking for support to create lasting energy and satisfaction, set up a complementary consultation with me.

Sugar

Sugar! What’s all the hype about?

And how do I get off it?

This article has been so popular, I am simply going to share it as is.

In it I offer a plan of simple 5 steps to get off sugar in 5 days. This is how I do it myself.

How to Get Off Sugar in 5-Days

 

 

I, for one, rejoiced at Mark Bittman’s “Butter is Back” article in the New York Times.

He cites a meta study which shows there is no evidence that saturated fats increase the risk of heart disease. Guess what does? Sugar and ultra processed foods.

The truth is, we’ve been seeing this for years if we look closely.

Consider this:

In the past several decades, Americans have consumed less fat and yet we have become more obese, more diabetic and have higher rates of heart disease.

Further, the more saturated fat one eats, the lower serum cholesterol. (Framingham Heart Study, Dr Castelli 1992)

When I started eating more fat, I lost about 5 pounds. Finally satisfied, I ate less and felt happier. If you’re feeling unsatisfied or craving sugar, try adding more good fat. Aim to get about 20-25% of calories from fat.

Good Fats

*Salmon, walnuts & flax seeds, which are high in Omega 3s, anti-inflammatories that prevent disease.

*Natural saturated fat from antibiotic free meat and eggs, pasture fed dairy, nuts and avocados.

*Olive and Coconut oil

Avoid

Trans fats or hydrogenated oils and poly-saturated vegetable oils such as soy, canola, corn, safflower and sunflower oils.

What’s your stance on fat? Love it or hate it? Join the debate on Facebook here.

Enjoy,

Adelma