How to do I create a life I love?
Often it feels elusive. Then it happens, seemingly by accident.
If you look closer, it is is usually a result of identifying what is most important to you and bringing it into your life.
Sounds great. But you may be wondering – how do you know what is most important to you?
Here are 3 steps to try.
1. Ask: What does a life I love feel like to me?
Not what it looks like, but what does the experience feel like when you are with your partner, in the kitchen cooking dinner with your family, receiving accolades at work, or maybe seeing the world.
Here’s why it works: Have you ever taken a job or entered a relationship because of how you think it will feel, only to realize the feeling did not come. You probably got frustrated because it didn’t seem worth it. You may have then doubted yourself and what you thought you wanted.
For example, say you want to make enough money so you can enjoy life. Great. But in process, how do you feel? If you’re enjoying life, then everything is aligned. But if you are feeling drained then it is actually the exact opposite of what you truly want.
Take another common example: you want to be in love to feel connected. Yet if you are not connected internally, it will be hard to create this feeling in the relationship.
Skip the middleman and go right to the source.
To identify the feeling you seek, put your hand on your heart and imagine living a life you love. What does it feel like to you?
If it does not come to you or if you tend to be more visual, create a vision board of this feeling. Pull out the colors, shapes, textures that how you want to feel. Then take a step back and describe it. I encourage you to look for one central feeling across all areas of life. Is it connected? Is it like flying? Is it creative? Is it spacious?
2. Use this feeling as your core approach life. In strategic planning, this is called the “one true thing” – the core desire that drives each of us. When you come from your core, life gets easier. It works more synchronistically.
For example, mine used to be connected, a feeling I longed for but did not feel I had enough of. Until I created it in myself and my life. Now the feeling is flying – being light and powerful and free. It is the feeling of pure joy I experience sharing my love or my work with others.
Why it works: Ninety five percent of what you actually experience is the process, not the outcome (which is out of our control anyway). If the process feels the way you want to feel then it will be more satisfying, regardless of the outcome.
Ask yourself: What could you do in each area of your life to create this feeling? How would you operate differently? What shifts would you make?
3. Cut the drag. Less is definitely more. Use this feeling as a screener for what you will and will not do. This removes the frustration of doing things that don’t serve you and propels you toward things that do.
Why it works: By focusing on what matters most to you, you will often get better results. Further, but cutting the drag you will have more time to recharge and let your creative, visionary brain do its thing.
Ask yourself: Which activities, relationships and work do not create this feeling? How can you shift then or remove them? Then stick to it.
How did it go? I’d love to hear your experience. Please leave a comment below.